Why checking for local restaurants before you move is important.

I had a panic moment today. This was spurred by the state of my kitchen, or more specifically my lack of kitchen. Here's what it looks like before I discovered the floor under the water heater was rotting out:

 And after:

Notice the excellent cat proofing barrier in from of the floor hole!

No matter how you swing it I have no cabinet space. I can't use much of the upper cabinets as the shelves are quite shallow and only about 8 inches tall. The bottom is hopeless until I have time to sand them clean. Also they don't open very well and I would rather use my makeshift pantry shelves then wrestly with those few drawers. They will be removed to fix the floor and i'm still not sure if I will attemp to refinish them or just tear them apart and repurpose the wood.

But back to my adventure. I was almost home after a long day and the very idea of cooking was....it just was not going to happen. I love to cook but to even hunt up a pan, much less a full meal of food, takes far longer and far more effort than it should. A mile from home I decided I wanted Chinese. Then it hit me: DOES VERNONIA EVEN HAVE A CHINESE PLACE?!?! The panic set in. We really don't have much up here in the way of food. The closest fast food joint, a Dairy Queen, is 17 miles south. I took the main road through town ticking off places:

• (tiny) grocery store
• mini mart
• coffee place
• Mediterranian theme place
• pizza and burger joint
• 2 bars

This isn't good. I arrive at the other end of town and turn down a side street to turn around. Then I see it: on a residential looking side street, in an unremarkable building not at all resembling a restaurant I notice a sign. It has Chinese symbols on it. VICTORY!!! I got my crab puffs, orange beef, and fried rice. Oh sweet greasy delights! Good thing to because I was seriously considering selling and moving back to Portland. On the way back I noticed a Mexican place is about to open. Pizza, Chinese, and Mexican food in town. I guess I don't need to sell after all.

PSA to you kids out there. Checking your spelling is very important. Because if you don't one day you might end up with such gems on a menu you write:

• Human Beef
• Shrimp and Chicken Human style
• (my personal favorite) one of the dishes is served in a Spicy Human Sauce